Don't need no credit card to ride this train. Because we accept debit cards or cash too.

I used to have great swirling swathes of time . I could wrap myself up in it like a great big duvet and have enough spare to make a three piece suit. But when you have an overabundance of something you neglect to give it the respect it deserves; you spend hours looking at facebook profiles of people you don't really give a shit about, or follow myspace conversations for no other good reason than the fact it's nice to read about other people having lives when you seem to have 'misplaced' yours, or you lie around for days in your own filth watching hammy sci-fi shows you were obsessed with in your teens just to get to that one episode that made you cry so much you actually had an asthma attack and you kind of want to see if you're still that emotional these days (conclusion: no... but that's probably a good thing).

Then you get a full time job and all that glorious time spent saving up special memories of moments spent sitting down and lying down get swept away with such ferocity that you wonder if any of it really happened at all or if it was just a sublime dream.

Or maybe that's just me.

Still, having a job is doing me the world of good. Not 'good' as in 'I like it', 'good' as in 'I have less time to concentrate on what an awful human being I am and more time doing something productive' (like decorating CD's and DVD's I've downloaded and burned to disc, writing blogs, getting out of the house to have conversations with creatures that don't have more than two legs, etc). When you're busy you get so much more done. It's nice. It's nice except for the fact that you find yourself waking up on a Monday morning having had approximately 5 hours sleep the night before and 3 hours the night before that. That's when you forget to rip your sudoku out of the paper and manage to stumble into work bleary-eyed and spaced out and five minutes late. Spending the morning in a daze and unable to form words, much less sentences, is not really the best way to start a week. Especially if you work in a call centre and a lot of your 'work' involves having to do those very things. A call would come through and for the first five or six seconds every time I'd be going '...', desperately trying to think of my carefully worded spiel and coming up with nothing. When you're on a phone and no-one is talking it feels like five or six seconds of silence is the longest amount of time anyone has ever gone without saying anything, ever. The best thing about a day like that though, when you're feeling a bit 'delicate' and can't think properly (unless 'thinking properly' constitutes being daydreamy and distant... I'm not sure it does), the BESTEST best thing is to get a call from someone who threatens to come down to where you work and 'do something Lloyds will regret and I won't be held accountable for' unless you fix his (unfixable) problem there and then. Yeah, that's why the word 'awesome' was invented. To describe moments like that. But what I love to do, to top off day's like this, is to forget to switch my headlights off so that my car refuses to start when I want to go home. I fucking LOVE shit like that to happen. It's what makes life worth living really. If we're all honest.

However, if you want good stuff instead of woe (I know you don't. I don't care) it feels like my stuff is starting to come together more and more every day. This strand is meeting up with that strand and that thread is creeping ever-so-slowly towards that thread. I don't know that any of these crazy pieces of the world are going to end up molding into what I expected but that doesn't really matter at the moment. It's good they exist out there somewhere for me, even if it's all raw material right now. Yeah, alright, I'm shutting the fuck up.