Good point, well made.

I mean, I love this movie. Sorry, but I do. However, it had never occured to me before that yes, maybe it is a bit weird that there is only one pair of gloves in Bloomingdales that would be suitable for the hands of both John Corbett and Bridget Moyahan. And not just suitable, but appropriate and thoughtful enough that both John Corbett and Bridget Moyahan would be thrilled to receive such a gift come Christmas morning. I can tell you now future suitors, should you want to impress me with your gift-buying prowess, then a lame-ass pair of black gloves that can fit the hands of John Corbett (a very big, tall, solid MAN with, presumably, large hands to boot) is not gonna fly. Similarly, any girls out there who think their man will want a pair of gloves that fit the hands of the dainty, feminine Bridget Moyahan maybe need to spend more time actually getting to know their beau (and recognising he would NEVER want such a shitty, thoughtless present FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND of all people -may be acceptable from his Great Aunt Sally - cos that bitch is crazy and lives in Wichita and he hasn't seen him since he was 3. But this is his GIRLFRIEND we are talking about) instead of writing your name and number on copies on a pretty good book and flirting with strangers who are themselves already dating giant man-hand women.

I think this movie should have ended up with Corbett and Bridget getting it on. Think of the money they would save buying gloves!

Trends

Twitter trending is pretty amazing at the mo

Where else you gonna find Vernon Kay sandwiched between 140 character chats on 'Applying Mathematics' and Stuart Lee telly programs eh?

Podcast ahoy

'You call that a podcast? THIS is a podcast'

[Ed note: It really is!]

Sassy

Him: Still free friday night?
Me: So far.
Him: Because you're so in demand eh? What do you do, weigh up the options on the day and go with what you feel like at the time?
Me: Yes.
Him: Not a very nice characteristic, I must say.
Me: Well noone asked you did they?

Reality check

You expect me to just pack this up immediately once the kid has gone home? Um, yeah. Ok. Can we all just be real for a sec? Cool. I won't judge you if you dont judge me. Now hand me that choo-choo.

Not sure where we go from here

Who asked for the website devoted to pictures of Tom Selleck, waterfalls and sandwiches all in the same frame?

You're order is up.

Horse worm

Found his spirit guide.

Another hard day at the office

Edwin

Bart: Look at all this great stuff, Lisa!
       [finds vanity license plate rack]
      Cool...personalized plates!  "Barclay"..."Barry"..."Bert"...
      "Bort"?  Aw, come on.  "Bort"?
Child: Mommy, mommy!  Buy me a license plate.
Mother: No.  Come along, Bort.
 Man: Are you talking to me?
Mother: No, my son is also named Bort.

My Saturday was better than your Saturday (also - POD!)

You guys, I had the most perfect Saturday EVER. Did I go to an aquarium? Yes I did go an aquarium. Fish really like me! Especially box fish (um, box fish are CRAZY btdubs) and mudskippers for some reason (all animals like me though, it's just people over the age of about 11 that seem to find me a chore). Did I then go play mini golf in freezing weather conditions so much so that I lost feeling in my toes by the time we got to the ninth hole? Yes I did do that! I was pretty good considering how bad I am at everything else (including life in general). Then did I see Up in the Air again? Yup. I really like that film! Jason Reitman is three for three with me now. That's pretty good! How about later, did I watch Finding Nemo and enjoy discussing the facts and figures I had learned that day from the aquarium? YOU ARE REALLY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT I DID WITH MY DAY!! You weren't following me were you? That'd be a little odd. How did my hair look though? I wasn't sure if it was a bit too crazy-curly yesterday.

Anyway, that all explains why I didn't get round to posting our rather delightful podcast till now. But now I have you can stop your tears and listen with your ears. And then go and drink some beers and take a drive and change some gears. (Except don't do that cos it's a bit dangerous to get crunk and drive).

good grief

Her: Did you fancy Dane Bowers?
Me: Is that a joke? That has to be a joke right?
Her: No :$
Me: I do not fancy dane bowers. I hope you don't neither
Her: Lol.
Me: You do don't you!
Her: A bit. It's just me getting sucked into the big bro thing. Itll pass.
Me: Oh. My. God. VETO. VETO TIMES A BILLION.
Her: Oh you and your vetos. My whole husband list is a veto. I say pfft to your vetos
Me: If there is one veto that sticks its the one on dane freaking bowers. You can do better lady. Everyone in the world can do better
Her: I just thought he had kind of a nice smile:$ and not 2 bad a face. He aint like new ryan reynolds or anything, im not gona go buy another levels bak cat [Ed note: music retailer lingo for 'back catalogue']
Me: Maybe you need to start fashioning your look on jordan? She's had two of your boyfs
Her: Who's the other? Has she slept with gordon [Ed note: As in Ramsey. I know right]
Me: Peter Andre! How soon ye forget your lives true loves. However I wouldn't put that past gordon and jordan. Am throwing up right now at the thought of it
Her: I just went for a wee and said 'peter andre' out loud. Lol. Forgot him yeah.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong to veto Peter Andre and Gordon Ramsey and Dane Bowers? I do not think I am wrong. If anything I think I'm almost freakishly *too* right.

Dream Weavers

It's not very often I get really excited about people finding love (normally it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little). Not that I'm bitter you understand, just cynical after YEARS and YEARS of disappointments (I may also be a little bitter) but Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer getting engaged really warms my cockles.

In many ways I truly believe that I'm just that little bit *too* weird to find someone who would put up with me but also, I like that weirdness and would kind of like to find someone who not only understands why my lunacy is awesome, but also has their own unique brand of bizarre for me to kick back and appreciate on my days off from working the crazy train you know? I'm not talking about the type of guy who is exactly like me but with man parts instead of the womb and vagina that I was blessed with, I mean someone who can bring their own awesome to the table and it meshes well with my awesome. Like, I'm humous and they're pitta bread. I mean, they're different, but MAAAAAN are they good together you know? Sometimes that seems like a dream too far (apart from the times when I am eating humous with warm pitta bread and I don't care about anything in the world except for how awesome it is inside my mouth at that moment in time) but VERY occassionally along comes a couple who epitomises this dream in every way and just happens to be real. Neil and Amanda got their own thang workin' for them but put it together and it becomes even bigger and more beuatiful than the sum of it's parts... which allows me to feel hopeful that maybe one day I could find that too.

I mean, if I don't, then no biggie but it'd be cool if I did ya know? You know.

Students

Been a pretty productive NVQ workshop.

A comfortable silence

Pod Club

The first rule of Pod Club is you have to make pop culture references that are about 5 years out-of-date. The second rule of Pod Club is YOU HAVE TO MAKE POP CULTURE REFERENCES THAT ARE ABOUT 5 YEARS OUT-OF-DATE. That would explain why we sing Placebo briefly in this one at any rate. You should listen, it's pretty funny.

Lind.

Enjoys fucking his boyfriend.

Turing it out

I really want an Alan Turing t-shirt but am thinking it might lead to more 'being asked a bunch of awkward questions' than 'gaining everyone's undying respect' (which is really the only thing I'm interested in).



The dude was a total DUDE though. (Morphogenesis? HOLLA! Breaking the enigma code? FUHGEDABOUTIT!) Might be my fav philosophical mathematician of all time (defo top 3 at least). Shame we are all such a bunch of homophobic fucks and he had to kill himself isn't it? (It is. Know that last sentence was pretty glib but that tends to be how I deal with my rage - just for your fyi).

Never Gonna Change My Mind

Do you ever get the feeling that if you met Joey Lawrence in person you would probably walk away feeling bitter disappointment?



I get that feeling. I get that feeling in SPADES.

[Via]

Umm

It's bad I saw this picture of Marrissa Cooper and thought 'that looks cool, how can I make that outfit out of items in my wardrobe?' seeing as shes supposed to be a hooker right? Firstly, there is nothing good about wanting to emulate anything about Marrissa Cooper (Julie Cooper on the other hand...), and also the hooker thing, and also the fact that I actually could make that outfit from items already in my wardrobe.



[Via]

Late Night Lover

To be honest, this whole 'Leno v. Conan' thing don't mean shit to me because if I'm up late it's to watch nerdrific documentaries about Chaos theory or recorded episodes of Party of Five. And I'm British and live in Britain and don't have the choice of either/or (I don't think) BUT what with the blogs being all of a twitter (I heard that line somewhere today? Glee?) about 'something-something Conan quits so Leno can steal back his show whatever-whatever' I have learned something REALLY interesting in the last week or so...

I am SO HOT for Conan O'Brien.

Swoon!

(Plus he wrote one of my fav Simpsons episodes, which I already knew about but thought you might like to know as well just in case you decide you want to date me, because fyi, writing a really funny episode of The Simpsons will DEFINITELY count in your favour.)