Wait till you see this little princess

Job hunting is going AWESOMELY if you define 'AWESOMELY' as 'getting to watch 2 hours of Blossom a day' which, obviously, I do. The only fly-in-the-ointment of this is that they have Sabrina the Teenage Witch on at the same time and I've only realised this today. Talk about Sophie's Choice. I've also been rejoining social networking sites (against my better judgment) and hating myself for it (but then, if I'm not carrying around a little self-loathing I just don't feel myself so it kind of evens out).

I hate filling out job applications even more than I hate Totally Calum Best (a tv show about a man-whore being abstinent got commissioned? Seriously, it's not just 'signs' of an impending apocalypse anymore, the apocalypse is here. It's happening right now) but if I want to add to my collection of wigs and keep up my false eyelash addiction then it appears I have little choice than to attempt to find gainful employment and answer the same questions and bullshit the same answers on every corner of the internet ('please provide a full list of your previous employment, including any gaps and the reasons for this' 'umm... I'm quite lazy and occasionally like to spend a couple months getting stoned all day and manipulating Spanish boys into bringing me doughnuts and Seinfeld boxsets'). Plus, as we all know, I love interviews making it worth it eventually.

In the meantime I'm intrigued that they've made and marketed a new magazine specifically for crazy old spinster ladies ('How can you resist them?' asks the website... by, and I'm just throwing this out there, NOT BEING A CRAZY PERSON?! Maybe? I don't know.) Anyway, apparently it's a 'purr-fect' collection (see, I'm their target audience. I put berets on my dog and take pictures. I like wigs. I collect snowglobes. Had they not used such a tired old pun I would so have 'picked up princess' but, they ruined it. If I'm going to take the final step from 'kooky' over into 'lock-upable' territory then I need more than a shit pun to persuade me it's a good idea). I just want to know who comes up with these things. Who gets paid to come up with different magazine collections? Do they know the crazy-haired scientists (that I presume work) at JML? Is this some kind of international conspiracy-slash-psychological experiment to see how much utter shit people will buy that they don't want or need and have never even thought about wanting or needing? It's got to be right? (The blu step proves that). I want to meet the great thinkers of our time who work for these companies and delve deep into their psyche and then back slowly away and run as fast as I can at the first opportunity.

*WARNING: This advert is liable to make you start throwing up rainbows and unicorns*