Dude

Bodies are temples and special and unique. You should never feel ashamed of your body, you should celebrate it's uniqueness and blah blah blah...

Fuck.
That.
Shit.

I've got a mofo-ing zit INSIDE my earlobe! My earlobe has a spot INSIDE IT! Between the two places it is pierced is this really painful big blob of pus and it is FREAKING ME OUT. It has made my earlobe red and bloated, so it is, in many ways, very similar to what I look like after I've eaten a plate of nachos with chilli and cheese by myself. At first I thought I'd got an infection from wearing one of my ridiculous, cheap earings but my other earlobe is fine and dandy and I haven't worn different earings in different ears since my birthday (oh, a big pink button and silver hoop in one ear and a dangly pink, white and black stars and sparkly black stud in the other since you ask. Claudia Kishi would be proud), it was only when I got my brother to shine a torch on the offending lobe (another patented Mulholland bonding experience) that the situation became clear and made me be sick in my mouth.

Of course, this does not diminish the joy I got from squeezing it. It was satisfying enough to enter the 'Sazz Spot's Hall of Fame' (you mean to say you haven't rated the satisfying-ness of spots you've picked over time? Oookay. If you insist) but still, what kind of FREAK OF NATURE gets a spot INSIDE their EARLOBE?!!?

Gross.

In other news, I got a job! I hope to Zeus my employers never find this blog.