Got me looking so crazy right now

I've never given much credence to the idea that men are from Mars, women are from Venus. That we stand on two separate planets gazing at each other in wonderment and disgust sending out smoke signals that spell 'WTF?!?!!'.

It's a nice idea but, much like communism, it works better in theory than in practice.

See, women and men are groups. You and I are individuals. I may have many of the characteristics associated with a female but I also have many characteristics associated with males; a penis, facial hair, an appreciation of women's boobs (I'm kidding, I'm kidding. About the penis thing). It seems a curiously modern idea that separateness exists in such neat packages. Light and dark, good and evil, man and god; in ancient philosophies are all one and the same. You don't have one without the other. Once Osiris crosses to the underworld he realises 'My phallus is the phallus of Osiris*. My loins are the loins of the Lords of Kher-ba. My chest is the chest of the Mighty One of Terror... There is no member of my body that is not the member of some God'. Krisha declares 'I am the self seated in the hearts of all creatures. I am the beginning, the middle, and the end of all beings'. I am god, I am man, I am woman (hear me roar). Admittedly the dividing lines we've set up between god/man, light/dark, man/woman may be helpful in some respects. For one thing they help us save time, it's tidier that way. Neater. Clears up confusion straight away; 'here's the list of preconceived notions I have about you based on your height, weight, skin colour, age and gender. If you could make sure you just stick to everything EVERYTHING! on this list and do not deviate from it AT ALL then we will get along swimmingly because if you do DARE to deviate then it makes things messy and that complicates the situation for me so, like I say, stick to the list and we'll be fine'. Which, is fine, as long as you're someone that ticks all the boxes that you're supposed to based on your height, weight, age, skin colour, and gender (hint: no one ticks all the boxes on that list). It's got my goat (not literally. I keep my goats very safe) as I was discussing with a young man the other day about the relationship issues of some of his work colleagues. It was all going well until he ended it with 'but then, women be crazy I suppose' and I was like 'umm... no' (although, to be fair to him, women do be crazy). It just doesn't seem helpful to me to classify problems from this standpoint (the sweeping generalisation standpoint). That's why you should really try and treat everyone as an individual and take them on their individual merits; no-one fits that box you have made for them and you're going to REALLY stress yourself out trying to fit them into those boxes - it's like me trying to fit into a pair of size 8 jeans: Not gonna happen.

But, worryingly, it extends further; you can't be a fan of The Wire AND of The Hills, you can't like opera AND playing sniper in a castle but, here's the kicker, you can be a fan of The Wire and The Hills and opera and snipering, I am living proof of this. But! But! STAY IN YOUR BOX! DO AS WE SAY! THIS DOESN'T FIT WITH MY PRECONCEIVED NOTION OF WHAT IT IS YOU REPRESENT!

No shit sherlock. Meet the other six billion or so individuals who also confound your expectations at every turn.

I wouldn't want to spend time with anyone who solely read Dostoevsky anymore than I'd want to hang out with someone who solely read Heat magazine. It's just the idea that you always have to be one thing or the other and can never be both simultaneously. Frankly, it's bullshit. We are all things to all people, playing all sorts of roles throughout our lives. Changing and adapting to suit our environment as all living organisms are wont to do. The costumes 'Man' and 'Woman' inform our character but they do not define our character. So although women be crazy, men be crazy too. We just don't talk about that as much because it doesn't appear on the checklist. We all be crazy basically. I like it that way. Don't you? Doesn't that make it more fun?

Having said that I'm more excited than anything with my new chaise lounge (only downside? It makes me feel a little bit like Jabba the Hut, I just need to put an ankle chain on Carrie Fisher and tie Harrison Ford to my wall and I'm set). There's not many boys that could get away with that sentence. Not unless they're a 'pledgee'

[Via Videogum]

*I sure am obsessed with phallus's tonight huh? Best not analyse that one too hard**
**That is what she said.