Parentheses angst

Sometimes I text people stuff in parentheses so that when they read it in their head, they say it to themselves as if I am saying it to them in a voice like kind of how you would describe as 'under your breath'. (Do you follow thus far? Good. I am not sure I do)

So, ok, to illustrate, I am hoping they read:

'You keep telling yourself that'

differently from:

'(You keep telling yourself that)'

Like, the first would be louder I guess. As if I'm just saying it directly to their face with my eyebrow raised. More blatant dissing. The second would be me sort of rubbing my nose and looking away saying it quietly with a glint in my eye but knowing they've still heard me and trying to pretend like they haven't and then getting all faux-offended when they act real-offended: 'What? What? I didn't say anything! You're so effing paranoid!'.

My worry is that the people I text with these parentheses asides don't actually 'get' that so they just think I'm stupid and don't understand the rules of basic grammar or am mentally deficient in some way and think I'm attempting to make emoticons but haven't quite figured out how yet ("me make happy face lol. now me make sad face boo") So my question is, do I just ask them (which kind of ruins the joke a bit) or forever live in fear of being an unrecognised comedy genius? (WHICH?!!)

So, yeah, I just wanted you to know in advance; if I text you something in brackets then I am probably pretending like you didn't hear me ok? I can record the sort of voice I would say it in if you need a guide for how to say it in your head. It saves me time and angst if I can be sure we're all on the same page 'jokes' wise and I really need to be sure you are doing my jokes justice by reading them to yourself with the right inflections and cadence and shit. Don't ruin it like that stupid woman on 6music ruined by M People joke by reading out my email with the wrong empathsis on the wrong words that one time about three years ago is all I am asking (still bothers me!). Is that really so much to wish for?

(This and Gary Lucy's hair and Charlie from Party of Five is keeping me up at night! For realsies!)