Monday, 4 January 2010

Resolve

I seem to have lost weight over crimbo which is INSANE given that people have been trying to force feed me roast dinners every seven minutes (this is a joke I keep making with my fam and they're like 'actually Sazz, how many roast dinners have you eaten over the last two weeks in truths?' and I'll be all 'umm... well two I guess' and then I get that look that suggests I've taken the exaggeration gene I was blessed with and run A MILLION MILES with it (more jokes)) but I have consumed a shit load of cheese and wine which is rarely listed in the Rosemary Conley Diet book [sub-title: to give you an overly firm body for a woman your age and a frightenly stretched haggard look on your face making you an inadvertant walking advertisement for staying plump] which is a roundabout way of saying - the usual 'lose weight/be miserable' new years maxim is out for 2010. I'm going to try this revolutionary thing of eating 3 meals a day and exercising when the mood strikes rather than feeling constantly guilty for not wacking on the lycra and doing 1000 sit ups a day. Not yet anyway. Plus, I'm pretty happy with how I look at the mo (except for my tummy which is the cause of ALL my worries and sadness and problems and depression. Science. If I ever manage to get it flat I'll be perfect and unendingly happy. Fact. You guys know how joyful Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss are right? Exactly) and the dudes may not be lining up but they don't seem to be throwing up in my face either (and isn't that the ultimate goal girls? To have your existance validated by the mens finding you sexually attractive? RIGHT?! YAY FEMINISM!). So what are the goals of 2010 then? Well, I wanna DO stuff. Stuff that I wanna do cos I wanna do it. This is similarly revolutionary stuff I know.

On the 'for shiz mniz' list is
- go see a ballet (cultural!)
- go see an Opera ('alright Alain de Botton we get it!')
- go see a musical (Michael Ball touring Hairspray coming to a city near me did you say? HOLLA ATCHA BOY!)
- get through my ever-lengthening 'films to watch' list
- write write write lots and lots and lots. A children's story about Gods that pull the wings off of flies. Falling into other dimensions through knots in oak trees. That kinda thing. Plus blog. Must be more enamoured with blog. Have started off well I hope you notice.
- CRAFT! Finish biggest cross stitch the world has ever seen (Grandma: 'maybe you could use it to cover something? Have you got a pouf that needs sprucing?' Me: 'well... yeeees')
- Socialise. With people. Outside of my house. Willingly and smiling.
- Finally, and most importantly, continue being awesome if not more so. Last year I severely deprived the world of my magic and for this I can only apologise.

Plus other shit but you don't want to know about my financial situation (do you?? Weirdo) or finding a pair of trousers that hides my belly but doesn't sag on my ass (LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE). Now I am off to achieve my hopes and dreams. Wish me luck!

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