Love hurts

It's fairly well known that I don't have the rosiest view of relationships. I'm constantly being called out on being too harsh or too cynical in matters of the heart. I choose to believe that I am, in actual fact, a realist not a cynic (but I also acknowledge that my presentation of this may be akin to the person who stands on street corners shouting 'YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL' who, deep down, just wants you to believe in God and not to come across as a crazy person (but, does indeed, come across as a crazy person). I'm working on it at any rate).

Having said all that there are some things I thought I could believe in and, to that end, I'm genuinely a bit distressed that the BT couple have split up.

I didn't even know I gave a shit and then, all of a sudden, they're trying to sell me cable tv packages by having a recently dumped man sitting in his batchelor pad considering PAYING to see Bee Movie. Is there anything more gut-wrenchingly melancholic than a man, on his own, thinking about spending money to watch Bee Movie? Plus, there were kids involved! He was learning how to be a good step-dad through all the different telecomms and internet deals that BT offer! He was booking holidays for his missus! And now he sits in the sort of chair that only single men ever own, filling up the lonely days with sub-par films like Bee Movie.

I, for one, am gutted.

Someone once said to me that they found the whole thing fascinating because 'he looks like he only gets to see the bits of their relationship that we do whilst she's living out the whole thing' which may be why he's so nonchalant about them splitting (and did she really dump him because his laptop lost it's internet connection when they were having an argument over instant messaging? Seems extreme). And wasn't he always the one who was getting all the BT packages? So why did he go for a different company in that instance? It's not his M.O. I want my fake commercial couples to BE CONSISTENT if nothing else. And who has important relationship discussions over instant messaging in the first place? How do you convey utter dismay with a emoticon?
Like this I suppose - :/
What about unending disappointment at someone else's actions?
Maybe... like this - :S
Ok, I think I'm getting it.

But what about a sarcastic or ironic tone? Think of all the times you've typed something glib whilst involved in an MSN chat and then had to spend 10 minutes clearing up any confusion about whether or not you are sexually attracted to Sting. Or when you've thought someone was joking and responded in kind but it turns out their cat really did die last night. Aaawkward.

I just don't know how BT expect to shift more shit by making us all depressed. It doesn't seem the smartest marketing tool ever deployed. I can only hope this is all going to be resolved in the (please god) inevitable reunion where they find themselves brought back together through a mutual love of cheap minutes on the telephone after 6pm.

(Please note: It does worry me somewhat that I'm more invested in this than I ever have been with anyone I've dated personally. You don't need to mention it. I'm already aware.)