[For seriousballs, those special effects are OFF THE HOOK! Amirite?]
I NEVER fancy ANYONE in porn films. Ever! They're always a bit... well, porn starish (like the Sarah Palin-a-like and Ruskie no# 2 in fact). It's as inconceivable a concept to me as fancying someone in Hollyoaks. That sort of conventionally attractive type who wears a bit too much product in their hair and whose skin seems to have a fine layer of slime that only I appear able to see (why else DO people find the actors in Hollyoaks attractive? Apart from Justin of course. He was slightly chunky and gorgeous and did an awesome ice-skate/dance routine to 'Cry Me A River' in Celebrity Ice Skating/Dance Thing That's on ITV - You Know What I'm Talking About** and is therefore do-able).
I guess that's as good a reason as any to tell you who my top 5 crush object du jour are (in no particular order):
Seth Rogan
Long standing devotion to this one going ALL the way back to his turn in Freaks and Geeks. The love continues to grow (Pineapple Express was really really good). He's a great writer and performer (I loves me some talent), and funny. All I want for Christmas is a boyfriend who looks, acts, and sounds exactly like Seth Rogan (Jew-fro's FTW!). Is that so much to ask? Really?
Kat Dennings
She's really cool! I read her blog and she's just, really, really cool! She's so cool that I don't care that I sound like a fifteen-year-old when I discuss her!
Christina Hendricks
It's so weird to have a show where all my favourite characters are female but, ironically, Mad Men achieves this. Normally the girly parts (heh. 'Girly parts'... I'll shut up) are just a bit lame and one-dimensional but every single character on this show is complex and beautiful and ugly in all the ways that the people you know in the 'real world' are complex and beautiful and ugly. Christina Hendricks who plays Joan (getting to wear some of the most kick-ass outfits your eyes will ever see) tops the table of awesome. She's bitchy and knows too much about people and the way the world works and she understands the roles she has to play just to keep everything functioning effectively. I could talk about Joan and Mad Men all day but I won't because this is all about superficial beauty and HOLY SMOKES ain't she just INSANE amounts beautiful? It's b-a-n-a-n-a-s that she could be that perfect looking. I heart her lots.
Jermaine/Bret [it changes depending on my mood]
If there is a song with homoerotic undertones that won't make me fall instantly in love then I have yet to hear it.
Todd Stashwick
What do you mean you don't know who Todd Stashwick is?! He's Todd Stashwick! He's the king of the sitcom bit-part and for some reason I've seen most of these bit-parts in the last week which is why I'm reminded to include him on this list. I can think of about 18 different ways in which he is off-the-charts hot right now! Like, literally, I can list them off RIGHT THIS SECOND... if I wanted to. I'm pretty tired. He's just hot ok? Tall, hairy, balding a bit, and I could listen to his voice all day. He's just... Grr.
And, as for a bonus point - Rachel Maddow. Oh my god, you don't know who Rachel Maddow is? She's a pundit on MSNBC (yeeeah, I'm not sure how I know all this either). I actually, genuinely, do want to marry her. Anyone sarcastic and passionate and knows stuff about stuff is immediately well on their way to winning my heart for now and always. Watch her in full force:
* I don't know what's up with me and porn lately. It's possible I need to get out of the house more? Maybe? I don't know.
** Ooh... here we go! Boy can B-O-D-Y-P-O-P! If that's not a strong foundation to base a love affair on then I don't know what is. And, ohmygod, I'd forgotten he was always wearing eye liner and managed to not look like a TOTAL dick... swoon. Can I also say I LOVE the commentator; 'Dancing on Ice goes grunge'. Does it? To Mr JT? Are you... um... are you sure? It's not grunge in the... err... classical sense is it? Each to their own I suppose. I also have to say that EVERY time I hear 'Time of My Life' I always try and get Farr to run and leap into my arms like what Patrick and Baby do. We haven't managed it so far but we haven't attempted it in a swimming pool so don't rule us out yet.
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