...and you're all 'I have to get this. My life depends on it. I will never be happy unless I own this' and your heterosexual life partner is all 'Totes. Also, I really like Kevin Cronin's hair' and then you and your gay husband are all 'SHIRLEY FROM EASTENDERS IS YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!' ('dot dot dot is your boyfriend' is the latest catchphrase I'm trying to make happen in south east Hampshire. It seems to be working but I'll know for sure when I admit I know all the words to every single Natasha Bedingfield released and someone screams in my face 'NATASHA BEDINGFIELD IS YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!') (Err... for instance.)
Seriously though. Dude looks like a lady that looks like a dude. Wearing a jazzy blouse doesn't help.
Kevin Cronin from REO Speedwagon:
Shirley from Eastenders:
Spot the difference [YOU CAN'T! THEY ARE THE SAME!]
(I have to say this still, at 3.58 in the afternoon whilst SOBER, still appears to be the greatest collection of songs ever put together. I am itching to send off for this even now despite the fact that I could download all that shit for free. I have a phone next to my hand that is crying out for me to dial the Time Life team and provide them with my credit card details. Time Life are the fucking KINGS of Jedi mind powers).
What was my point? I don't think there is one. Except to say that 3.30am is clearly the best time to be watching music television. For one thing you can flick a multitude of channels and see the Time Life Ultimate Rock Ballads collection presented by Shirley from Eastenders and Amy Motta [Did your face just go '?!?' at the name Amy Motta? Because mine did. My face actually, literally went: '?!?'. A quick googling reveals she's been in 7 episodes of Passions and was the unforgettable 'Woman in Airport' in everyone's new favourite Ashton Kutcher movie (the 'new favourite' part of that sentence was redundant wasn't it? Aren't all Ashton Kutcher movies our favourite? Yes. Yes they are. Equally, they are our favourite movies of all time ever) but that doesn't quite explain why that makes her qualified to sell me a collection of rock ballads. She's not even on Wikipedia (officially, you don't legally exist until you have an entry on Wikipedia. That's just science and it is also stated in the bible). Unless it's just because she's literally the only fan of REO Speedwagon left so could provide sufficient believability to the line 'Kevin, I'm such an REO fan. I love you guys'. I'm guessing that's it] but you also get to see the latest hit from 'The Lonely Island' on Scuzz (even if it's a bit of a rip off, musically if not lyrically, of this). I do in fact want Andy Samberg (big collar, big hair guy) to be my boyfriend. I want to put my mouth on his mouth very badly indeed.
You guys totally spotted that the cleaner in the supermarket is Justin Timberlake in a wig didn't you? I got that immediately. Is there any kind of quiz show that pays you a lot of money for spotting unlikely celebrity cameos in unlikely places? There totally should be. I would clean that shit up for real.
Anyway, as if I couldn't love my new boyfriend Andy Samberg anymore than I already do he's also done this thing where he's in a video with lots of clips from my favourite [non-Ashton Kutcher] movie of all time 'Teen Witch'.
If that makes one more person locate a copy of Teen Witch and watch it then they've done their job and done it well.
That whole post was just an excuse to post videos that have made me literally lol (or 'LLOL') in the past 24 hours. And use the exact amount of parentheses (11) in a blog post to make myself seem slightly schizophrenic. In a good way. Obvs.
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