Basic Lessons

I learned something intensely disturbing the other day. I think I do most of the things that I do in the hope that someone, somewhere will say 'good job you'. Like, even as far back as doing well at exams and shit; I'm not sure if I studied cos I wanted to do well or if I wanted to do well so that someone, somewhere would be mildly impressed by how well I did.

It's become a worry.

Mostly because, at the moment, my boss won't actually acknowledge my good work. And I know I'm doing good because I'm putting at least 7% effort in which is 163% more effort than I usually put in to jobs where I am getting a paycheck. All I am craving at the moment is a pat on the head from pseudo-mommy and she refuses to give it to me. It's frustrating to say the least. Curiously, this is making me work harder and at this rate I will become proficient and capable at my job. Which is making me wonder if she's some kind of Machiavellian Sazz motivator. There's college level courses in that right? Seeing as how I am centre of the universe and all. Yeah, I figured. Like an HND course or something? I'm sure most colleges offer it. I'm guessing she's head of the Sazz motivating department at one of those colleges cos her approach to the way she treats me is making me do my job. Lots of people have taken the HND in Sazz Motivation and failed miserably. In fact, pretty much every boss I've ever had prior to this have failed that course. Thing is, if you (i.e. 'me') don't give a shit about the work your doing*, turn in the bare minimum of what's been asked of you, procrastinate up until the very last moment of whatever it is you've been asked to do is due and still get praised for the wonderful work you're doing then you rarely carry on trying even a soupçon. It's kind of 'People 101' (this is a pre-requirement course for getting on the Sazz college level courses because, contrary to popular belief, I am, technically, 'people'). It makes me wonder how little other people do in order that every boss I've had think me such an industrious and conscientious worker. Perhaps it's just because I wear glasses and am quite quiet? People who wear glasses and are generally not very loud are always conscientious. This is basic science. They teach you this in physics, chemistry AND biology classes at school because of how basic the science involved in that equation is. So that is probably what it is.

The irony being of course that when I actually am trying (oh Sazz, you are VERY trying!! HAHAHahahahahhalolroflhahahalolololol etc), no-one has noticed.

Basically I am saying trying is for losers because nothing good (i.e. praise, which is as addictive as crack and just as healthy) ever came from giving something your best shot.

That's basically the lesson here.


*Although I kinda of do in this new job so that might be a contributing factor to me, you know, doing the job itself.