Spring Clean

In preparation for FINALLY moving out of my folks place (about seven years too late) I am trying to condense my stuff. The mounds and mounds of shizznit I have collected through my 26 earth years is ri-donk-u-lous. I can be quite ruthless on occasion, particularly where wardrobe choices are concerned (if it don't fit, chuck it. If you ain't worn it in a yonk, chuck it. Stop dilly dallying and zoink that shit) but I've never thrown out sentimental tacky crap before. Not everyone holds onto the High School Musical Top Trumps cards they got as a joke for christmas, but I do. I'm that sort of person. The sort of person who gets High School Musical trump cards at age 26.

Times that by 1000, over my entire life span thus far, and you'll understand the issue.

I mean, obviously the Garfield cookie jar is coming me wherever I go. That goes without saying. Even if I don't have room for a tv or a wardrobe, the Garfield cookie jar will be there. Obviously.

However, I'm wondering whether or not I need the collection of cartoon figurines? Because, I checked, and I'm not actually seven. I drive a car and drink alcohol and have sex with grown men and EVERYTHING. Of course if you do those things you're not seven Sazz, I hear you cry. You're not carrying a knife. BOOYAH!! TOPICAL HUMOUR AHOY, I repeat, TOPICAL HUMOUR AHOY. I eagerly await the call of the Have I Got News For You producers.

(that is a stolen reserved sign from a restaurant. This is how 22 year olds got their kicks back in my day)

Similarly, even if I have to keep them on the floor of the toilet, the snowglobes are essential for my existence to continue.

But do I really need this plastic moose who bobs up and down in a rather pleasing fashion?


R2D2 statue is not going nowhere. Fact.

But is ceramic owl chef something I should hang on to?

Presently I'm leaning towards: no to cartoon, no to moose, yes a thousand times to owl chef. He is an owl chef after all. Look at him, being all owly and chefish. That's not just something you can take away from an inanimate ceramic object is it?

[Postscript: I have solved half the problem by putting cartoon figurines INSIDE the Garfield cookie jar. If you want me on your Krypton Factor team then contact me through the usual means]