A Question of Felicity Kendal and my face

I guess I've always been paranoid in nature, assuming that people are looking at me or talking about me for some reason or another (albeit forever a real or imagined negative reason). I'm not sure if this is in fact paranoia or just a symptom of my extreme narcissism that dictates I am the only one people would want to look at or talk about (albeit negatively). But recently I swear to little baby Jesus that people, and by people I mean women (kind of the same thing) have been looking at me funny. Like, constantly. Whenever I meet someone new, or am introduced to someone new (which happens a lot in a job where I have met someone new almost every day since I started as a function of the job itself), people (women) have been looking at me differently than before.

I'm not sure how to categorise the look. It just sort of feels like I'm being weighed up more obviously than has happened in previous times. Like, they'll squint a bit and stare at me a beat longer than I feel comfortable with. It unnerves me and leaves me unsure what to do with my face or my eyes or my hands. I do not like it Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham (or women looking at me funny).

The only explanation I have for this sudden unnerving look that I have been on the receiving end of countless times now, is that I'm now proper blond and before I was not.

Which suggests that everyone should be reacting to me differently, but what confuses me most is that I do not think men have been. I've received no more or less attention, have not been treated any worse or better, I maybe get served quicker in bars than before but not by any noticeable amount and I think that's just due to the white blond being fairly eye-catching. So why has it affected the way the female of the species respond to me?

I only mention it because it happened noticeably twice today; from the members of a Young Parent' Group in a particularly joyous part of town (lie) and once from Felicity Kendal (truth).

The young parents of the Young Parents Group all trooped in to the 'Sensory Room' (a.k.a. a room with some throw pillows and lava lamps) and plonked themselves down with a degree of force not becoming of a 'Senory Room' vibe (man) and each made eye contact with me in turn as I smiled and welcomed them to sit down so I could tell them what I was about.

Each gave me 'the look'.

I wouldn't have thought too much about it because these chicks don't need another do-gooder coming in and telling them how they can live their lives better. They've constantly got people telling them how abysmally they're doing and like I know shit to be telling them what to do (I do not know shit). They giving me 'the look' wasn't particularly pleasant but wasn't entirely surprising either so, genuinely, I would not have given it too much consideration had not every lady I'd come into contact with since walking into this 'wrong side of town' centre not given me the exact same reaction. It's like they're trying to stare past my face and see the real me concealed beneath. So obviously when I got out I went and checked my teeth for big bits of lunch still stuck in there - nothing. I gave my face the once over for blobs of make up or pen - nothing. I checked my hair for bits of lettuce or other stray foodstuffs - nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

'She's paranoid' you're saying to yourself. 'She's paranoid and she's crazy. People look at each other all the time, it's nothing to get freaked out about'.

Fine. Think that if you will but riddle me this dear reader, why did Felicity Kendal of The Good Life fame make eye contact with me multiple times during the play I just saw her in?

Hmm? Why, in the middle of a performance, is the professional actor Felicity Kendal distracted by, of all things, MY FACE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FACE?

Actually, don't answer that. Maybe it's best I don't know.