Questions to occupy and enrich one's existance

I spent yesterday morning surrounded by baby goats, baby sheep, baby pigs and a bunch of toddlers. It was like the live action version of 'You've Been Framed'. Or maybe it was more like the interpretive, interactive stage version of 'You've Been Framed' done by an experimental art group who perform in public places like 'Improv Everywhere' do, but made up of 2 year olds instead of out-of-work actors that spend their days getting stoned and coming up with increasingly elaborate ideas about how to freak a load of people out?

Or maybe I should stop thinking about 'You've Been Framed' quite so much?

Except I can't. Last time I saw it there were a load of baby piglets who were all scratching their asses in a fashion that one couldn't avoid comparing them to this lady, however much one did not want to. (Although both are cute and delicious). (I hear). More than anything I want to know why 17 baby piglets had itchy asses simultaneously, is this like a 'thing'? Do baby piglets often get itchy asses all at the same time? Like how twins are supposed to know when the other is in dire straits (not Dire Straits - if I had a twin, which I do not, they would be dead to me if this did indeed occur - just so we're clear imaginary twin, just so we're clear), or some men have sympathy contraction pain when their partner is giving birth? Except with baby pigs they get sympathy bum itch if one of the litter has a bum itch? If it is a 'thing' then it' I have certainly not ever witnessed this phenomenon before. The baby pigs yesterday did not do anything except eat grass for approximately 3 hours non-stop (I did not see their faces once as they were too consumed by the quest for MORE GRASS). I've been to Marwell more times than you've even DREAMT about going to Marwell (probably. Actually, I've been an average amount. You might have dreamt about going to Marwell more times than I physically went there, I have no way of knowing that. Who am I, your mother? Mystic Meg? Jeez. Leave it alone will you?) and I never saw 17 baby pigs scratching their asses simultaneously there neither. So 'what up' You've Been Framed baby piglets? Why all the bum scratching?

I will not rest until I get to the 'bottom' of this (I will probably rest before I get to the bottom of this. Also, oh snap).