Questions with no answers

I need to take a second here to ask a very serious, very important question and one that I seriously, seriously, need an answer to:

Scrapbooking:
what.
the.
fuck?

Honestly. I need a thorough and coherent explanation of firstly - what is it, and secondly - why the fuck would you do that?

Because here's what I know: people (and by 'people' I mean 'females') get together a load of pictures and whatnot and stick them in books in a jaunty fashion and use gel pens and jazzy bits of card to make it look nice and then there's classes? And the classes are like beginner, intermediate, and advanced? For scrapbooking? There's a gradiated level of skill for using a pritt stick? Really? (As you are reading this I would like you to imagine my voice getting an octave higher with every passing question mark - all of which are necessary because really? WHAT IS THIS?)

But, ok, fine I can see how some people might like to get together once in a while and pritt stick shit to other shit. I fucking love pritt sticking shit to other shit. I always have a pritt stick on me for any pritt sticking emergencies*, that's how much I love pritt sticking shit but this is more than just a love of pritt sticking shit when there's differentiated levels of skill attainable (beginner, intermediate, advance - WHAT DOES ADVANCED INVOLVE?!): this is way popular and no-one but the scrapbookers know about it. Basically, as far as I can tell it's like fight club for girls but instead of punching each other in the face they stick photos to glittery bits of card and then stick that into a fancy looking book of some kind.

I'm not sure how far down the rabbit hole I want to go cos, the more I learn about it, the more fascinated I am that this is a way people choose to spend their free time (there are surely more productive past times; watching downloaded american tv programs, cross stitching pictures of unicorns**, knitting rectangles, weaving, to name just a few) and I know that's one step away from me Hunter S Thompson-ing it and joining a class to see if that sheds any more light on the situation but, before you know it, I'll be scrapbooking about my scrapbooking classes and finding pictures of me laughing and joking with all my scrapbooking buddies whilst we scrapbook. I think? I don't know, is that what they do? I DON'T KNOW?

I think it hits me so hard because of the aforementioned love of pritt sticking. I guess I can see in some sort of 'Spock creating a black hole-slash-parallel universe' kind of way that that could be me. You start off getting a quiet thrill out of pritt sticking and before you know it you're on to the hard stuff; buying cardboard frames with owls on them or heading for the glitter section in WH Smiths, before long you're running an advanced class in scrapbooking and getting other people hooked. These guys know what I'm talking about. There's also an element of me not liking things I don't understand (which I take to be the racist gene all white middle-class people have (a.k.a 'The Daily Mail' gene) but I've channeled my genetic destiny into frothing over this and not immigration laws (which I couldn't give a toss about quite frankly - burn me down if you must Daily Mail)).

Anyway, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, witness my mind thoughts whilst at work - be aware: this is your tax dollarpounds in action.

*This is actually true.
** This is also actually true:

The grey shading is what I have managed to complete so far but you can't see that cos it' white cotten, just trust me on this: it's fucking AWESOME. (In the way that only a cross stitch unicorn can be. Which is very).