Not enough

I loathe the idea of making someone feel like they are not enough. That they don't measure up. That they're stupid or fat or unworthy in some way. And I don't know if it's just that I'm waking up and noticing life's little injustices more and more or if this is a thing that's becoming more and more prevalent (or perhaps I'm just getting sensitive in my old age) but regardless; when I spot these things now I feel this deep burning rage that will not go away.

Flirting with people you have no interest in just to make yourself feel wanted? Not cool.

Making fun of someone for not having had an experience you've had? Not cool.

Making fun of someone for not having the same knowledge you do? Not cool.

How do we ever convince ourselves that it's ok to put someone else down to make ourselves feel good? I say this fully aware that I've done this. I can give you examples of when I've done this (there's probably many more times that I've forgotten about or was, even worse, oblivious to). Heck I'll probably do it again in future, but that doesn't mean it's okay or right.

As a general rule the harder path is the better path. In this particular instance that means making yourself feel good from within. It means choosing not to laugh at that girls outfit with your friends because of how much flesh she's showing. It means choosing not to think ill of the last girl your boyf slept with just because she spells it 'miss understood' (that may well be the hardest thing of all). It means choosing not to bitch about people because they're interested in football rather than theatre (or vice versa).

I know thoughts of this nature run through my head from a place of insecurity. There's nothing wrong with them per se but in no way am I better than another girl just because I don't spell words as they are written on albums by Pink. Viewing the world this way only makes things worse. I might sit there feeling smug and superior for being better at spelling but what does this achieve? This insecurity is something destructive. It's a thing we all have and use to grind one another down but nothing good comes out of it. Ever.

I'm also becoming more and more flummoxed by the idea that's there's only one proscribed type of beauty as I look around and see sexy, gorgeous, attractive people of all shapes and sizes and colours. I know this sounds glib but in particular seeing a cabaret show at the weekend with these fine figures of womanhood being sexy and funny on a stage in front of people made me realise that they weren't aspirational in terms of looks (and in fact I hate the whole 'fat vs thin' dichotomy - can we all not just accept our bodies as they are? Fat or thin or somewhere in between?) but attitude. They were comfortable in their own skin in a way not many people are. They weren't stood there going "I'm better than you because of how I look" they were just enjoying themselves and entertaining us. Dressed as grannies and lollipop ladies and matadors. Obviously. That attitude is what we need instead of letting fear and hurt and insecurity rule our actions. Individually let's just all agree how awesome we are and let that be enough. We can go off and do our own things safe in the knowledge that everyone's going to be supportive and friendly wherever we may turn. They might not agree or understand why we wear the things we wear, why we do the things we do, why we love the things we love but none of that matters. Because we all have our own looks and hobbies and passions. Those are the things we are fuelled by, not whether we're hotter or more intelligent or more cultured than anyone else.

Because if you're constantly walking around figuring out who you're better than then I can pretty much guarantee you're not better than anyone else at all.