They finally made a monkey out of me

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes left me with some questions. Firstly, why didn't Frida Pinto ask how come Franco's chimp was so smart for 5 years? They've been going out for five years and she's been hanging out with him and his chimp all that time (which is defo what she said) and it's only five years later that things start to seem fishy enough that she starts asking questions. Like, she's been in his house in the last five years right? She's seen his papers on the wall and video cameras and test apparatus and shit right? And it never occurred to her to go 'what's all this about then?' Or like, 'hey you know you're dad had alzheimer's and now he doesn't? Yeah, that's weird isn't it? Any reasons for that? And while we're on the subject why is your chimp so freaking smart and that? And also why is he CGI and yet still a better actor than you Franco?'

Basically, after that point I couldn't really concentrate on the rest of the film because I was still hung up on how much Frida was willing to accept that chimps are *just that smart*. Because they are pretty smart but she's a vet and seemed to know a bit of chimp-related info when he first took Caesar to see her. *I* might be willing to accept it when people tell me that 'no one really knows why we itch' (note: they do. I was being played) but it's like if someone told me that and I was a dermatologist with a side interest in itching and I believed it then.

I also don't really understand who and what and why James Franco. James Franco as a person, as an actor, as a concept, confuses me. Is that the point James Franco? Why is your acting so natural in some things and so hokey in others? What is you? I seriously will never rest till I feel I have James Franco figured out.

Anyway, all that is just a longwinded way of saying I've had the 'Dr Zaius' song from the Simpsons stuck in my head for about 4 days now. Not bored of it yet.